The Adventures of Peter Pan Weiss Style
by CherubKatan
Summary: Let's take you to a world of magic... a world of mystery... and a world of a red head wearing tights? It's cherubkatan's version of Peter Pan now for the enjoyment of everyone (Part Three uploaded)
1. Part One

            I wish I could say that I own Weiß then I could say that I was Takehito, Koyasu and that I was a sexy Japanese voice actor and j-pop star… but unfortunately I'm not….

Schu: Thank Kami-sama for small miracles!

… *Smacks him upside the head with a mallet* …

Schu: x_x

… Anyway as I was saying, before I don't own Weiß, nor do I own this story that I'm going to be royally fucking up. I don't know who it belongs too… but I do know Disney did it's own version of it… anyway enjoy!

The Adventures of Peter Pan (Weiß Style)

Part One

Cast of Characters

Peter Pan- Fujimiya Ran

Wendy Darling- Hidaka Ken

John Darling- Kudoh Yohji

Michael Darling- Tsukiyono, Omi

Tinker Bell- Schuldich

Captain Hook- Bradley Crawford

Smee- Farfarello

Tiger Lily- Sakura

Narrator- Nagi

Alligator- Mechanical Device created by Nagi

Lost boys- Random character

Director- Me! Cherubkatan!

Ran: … Wait a minute, why am I Peter Pan?

Cherubkatan: because silly, you look damn sexy in those tights. *purrs*

Schu: I don't know about you, but I do have to agree with her, besides you don't see me complaining about being Tinker Bell. 

Ken: … that's because we all know how much you love to prance around as a fairy Schu!

Schu: … Shut up Wendy or I'll sprinkle my magic pixie dust over you and turn you into a frog.

Brad: *holds the bridge of his nose* I shouldn't have woke up this morning.

Yohji: *smirks* I'm not going to complain; I still get all the hot women.

Omi: Yohji-kun… I hate to say this but in never neverland, there are no women… and you're going to be a kid in this…

Yohji: NANI?! *Glares at Cherubkatan* what the hell is the chibi talking about?

Omi: Don't call me…

Cherubkatan: Oh be quiet Yohji, at least your not wearing tights as Ran is.

Ran: *growls*

Farfie: This hurts god!

Brad: *sighs* Just tell me when this is over…

Cherubkatan: Anyway people lets get this show on the road!

~~

Narrator:  Welcome, children, this is the tale of the boy who never grew up. The one known as Peter Pan and one of his many adventures in Neverland, we start this story in London, England where the three Darling children are just about to go to sleep. Their names are Wendy.

Wendy: *walks out onto the stage wearing a pink night gown*

Schu: *snickers in the back*

Wendy: *glares at Schu*

Narrator: *clears throat* John.

John: *saunters out with a cigarette in his mouth, wearing tight leopard print pajamas* Hey sis!

Wendy: … Yohji I doubt that's what a little boy wears to bed… much less does *pulls the cigarette out of his mouth* Besides think of the children reading this!

John: … *mutters* … first no women… now no cigarettes… I'm really beginning to regret this whole fic… 

Narrator: And the youngest one Michael.

Michael: *hops out onto the stage, wearing footy pajama's with teddy bears on them* Hiya! *Waves to everyone*

Wendy & John: *stare at Michael*

Wendy: … Omi, just what in the *bleep* are you wearing?! … What the *beep* why am I being bleeped out?!

*Off the stage*

  
Cherubkatan: We're TRYING to keep this Pg here people!

Schu: … Oh yeah great trying, you have men cross-dressing and hinting on Shonen Ai, I doubt this is a PG Rating.

Cherubkatan: … *sniffs* This is a children's classic

Brad: one that is going to be mutilated by you. 

Cherubkatan: … Just keep going!

Narrator: Right. As I was saying, it starts out with the three Darling children, just getting ready for a night of rest and relaxation from their long hard day of school and other boring things like assassinating people who don't really deserve it.

Wendy: *stretches* boy, I'm tired. What about you two, are you tired?

John: *smiles lazily* All that flirting I did today, did do a number on me. *Walks over to a bed and stretches out on it*

Michael: I'm not tired yet. *Looks around for a computer* where's my computer

Narrator: … Omi this is England in the late eighteen early nineteen hundreds… there are no computers.

Michael: *pouts*

John: *snickers* If I can't have cigarettes or women, chibi can't have computers.

Michael: … Don't call me chibi!

John: Fine… chibi

Michael: I said don't call me that, Yohji-kun!

John: *smirks* All right, all right, I won't, chibi.

Michael: *growls*

Wendy: Would you two just shut the *bleep* up! The more you two argue the more we have to sit through this torture!

*Backstage*

  
CherubKatan: … *sighs, looking over at Brad* who's mutilating the story now?

Brad: *shrugs* It's being destroyed by someone…

Schu: I'm surprised you didn't "predict" this Bwadley…

Brad: … Schuldich don't call me that…

Schu: *smiles* ok Bwaddie…

Brad: …

Cherubkatan: … why me?

Ran: because your forcing us to do this.

Cherubkatan: hush…

*On stage*

Narrator: So as we were saying the three children were getting ready for bed. Soon the three children were tucked in and fast asleep, dreaming delicious dreams, or in some cases, like a certain playboy slut…

John: … I HEARD THAT!

Narrator: Go to sleep John boy! Ahem, the three children fell into a fast and peaceful slumber filled with wonderful dreams. They slept like this for hours, when a knock came on their nursery window, causing them to wake up.

*Sound effect* KNOCK… KNOCK

Wendy: Someone's rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

Michael: … Idiot that's from Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven… Wrong story all together.

Wendy: *blushes* Oh yeah…

John: It's the nightgown; it's finally getting to him.

Wendy: Shut up slut.

John: …

Narrator: the children were puzzled as to how someone could be knocking on their window this late at night. Especially considering that they were on the third floor of a huge mansion type house and it was impossible for anyone to be that high up without a ladder.

*Sound effect* KNOCK… KNOCK…KNOCK

Michael: You know it's inhumanely possible for anyone in this period to know exactly what a ladder is.

Wendy: yeah! What Michael said?

Narrator: Would you two stop arguing with me and open the damn window.

Peter Pan: *from outside* If someone doesn't open this *bleeping* window… I'll take my Katana and break it.

Wendy: … *dashes over and throws the window open* who are you?

Peter Pan: *steps onto the stage wearing a forest green Robin Hood type tunic with bright green tights, an emerald colored hat and olive colored elfin shoes that curl up a bit* My name's Peter Pan… *grumbles to himself* I swear I'm going to kill her when I'm finished with this…

Wendy: *gets hearts in his eyes* Oh wow, I didn't know Peter Pan would look so hot!

Tinker Bell: *flutters in on a rope, wearing a normal fairy get up and holding a little wand* … Hands off of him you slut of a she/male *hits Wendy on the head with the wand*

Wendy: *rubs his head* hey you fairy boy that's not in the script!

Tinker Bell: It is now.

*Backstage*

Cherubkatan: … this is going to be a long story….

Brad: be grateful… they could do worse…

Farfie: *licks his knife* wait until we're onstage

Cherubkatan: *groans*

*On the set*

John: *lights up a cigarette* so what's a fairy and a man in tights doing in a place like this?

Michael: Yohji! Put that cigarette out!

John: … fine *snuffs it out*

Peter Pan: … I need my shadow back… some stupid cat pulled it off of me the other night while I was snooping around.

Tinker Bell: *snickers slightly* would you believe that the red head's afraid of cats?

Wendy: Awwww, poor little guy, you lost your shadow huh? Here we'll look for it for you.

Narrator: So the three children, the prick in tights and the annoying telepathic fairy went searching around the tiny nursery for the lost shadow. Finally, after hours of searching it was found to be in one of the kid's dressers.

Wendy: *holds up something that looks like a pair of black panty hose cut out into the figure of a human* I think I found it!

Peter Pan: *smiles slightly* good, now to stick it back on… *pulls out a bar of soap and tries to put it on with that*

Narrator: try as the revenge filled psycho might he just couldn't put the panty hose back on.

Wendy: Here let me sew it up for you *grabs a needle and thread, Peter Pan's foot and begins to sew the shadow back on*

John: *whispers to Michael* I didn't know Ken could sew…

Michael: … *sweat drops* me either…

Wendy: *hums merrily as he sews it back on pricking Peter pan more times than anything*

Narrator: After many scream filled hours later, Wendy was finished with the sewing…

Peter Pan: *stands up limping*… I think next time I'll use super glue…

Tinker Bell: That's what you get for trusting a transvestite.

Wendy: *glares at Tinker Bell* At least I'm not the one that's proud of being a *bleeping* fairy

*Off Set*

Cherubkatan: ENOUGH YOU TWO OR I'M GOING TO WRITE A DAMN SCHU/KEN FIC that has you BOTH as *bleeps* transvestites!

*On stage*

Both: *look at each other then sweat drop*

Narrator: And so we move on with the story at hand. *Shuffles some papers around* Now where were we? Ah, here we are. Soon after the shadow was placed back on its rightful owner. Peter Pan got a wonderful idea.

Peter Pan: I know since all of you helped me with my shadow, why don't you come with me to visit Never Neverland!

Wendy: What's Never Neverland? 

Peter Pan: It's my home and a place where you never have to grow up to be an adult!

Tinker Bell: *mutters* As if half of you act like adults in the first place.

Wendy, John, and Michael: *glare at the fairy*

Peter Pan: Anyway… back to what I was saying. I'll take you all to Never Neverland. Tinker Bell; get your fairy behind over here.

Tinker Bell: Yes master *purrs and flies over to Peter*

Peter Pan: good now sprinkle that fairy dust of yours on those three so they can fly.

John: *smirks* so there are some type of drugs in this "classic story" *rubs his hands together* all right! I'm in!

Michael: *slaps John upside the head* you idiot, that's not drugs!

Tinker Bell: Shows what you know kid *sprinkles some type of white powder all over them*

Peter Pan: Now to be able to fly… all you have to do is think happy thoughts…

John: … happy thoughts eh?

Peter Pan: Yes, happy thoughts… like this… *starts thinking about the sweet revenge he'll have on Takatori and starts to fly* See, it's easy!

Michael: hmmm *thinks about hacking someone's computer and lifts off the ground* hey! I can fly!

John: *smirks* this should be a piece of cake *starts thinking about women and cigarettes and doesn't even move from the ground* … hey… why aren't I flying

Narrator: Because you perverted sex fiend, women and cigarettes are NOT happy thoughts… one's lustful and the other one's down right disgusting.

John: … No one asked you Tot lover

Narrator: … *uses his powers to throw him up in the air*

John: Look I'm flying! *Hits the wall with a thud* oof… maybe not…

Narrator: *smirks* after a few tries that never really succeeded, the two older Darling children were able to fly and fly they did, to Never Neverland.

*Offstage*

CherubKatan: I'm so tempted to call for an intermission…

Brad: Why? You'd only delay the inevitable.

Cherubkatan: … Yeah so? It will at least give me time to run to the store for a big ass bottle of Tylenol… maybe rummage through my mother's medicine case and steal a few of her Tylenol three with codeine. Anything to make the pain that I'm getting in my head to go away!

Brad: You should be used to it by now, you're the one that brought us out, now you have to live with your decisions.

Cherubkatan: _

*Back on the stage*

Narrator: After a few hours of flying and some mishaps, namely the whore John running into a flock of seagulls, the four humans and one over obnoxious fairy landed on a small island that the psycho in the tights like to call Never Neverland.

Peter Pan: … You know I never wanted to wear the tights in the first place…

Narrator: …Whatever you say psycho boy.

Wendy: Can't we just get on with this? I want some hot Ran *coughs* I mean Peter Pan lovin!

John: … and they call me a slut…

Michael: … Yohji you are one.

John: … That hurts chibi

Michael: Didn't I tell you not to call me that.

John: *shrugs*

Narrator: To get on with the point, as they were about to land on the tiny little island, Peter Pan spotted something off in the distance.

Peter Pan: … Hold up everyone, I think I see Takatori over there! Tink, do me a favor and take them to the lost boys!

Tinker Bell: Yes master! *Salutes Peter jauntily*

Wendy: *mutters* Suck up…

Peter Pan: *flies off*

Tinker Bell: *smiles wickedly at Wendy* I've at least gotten some from Peter.

Wendy: …

John: *laughs*

Michael: *blushes* Schuldich!

Tinker Bell: Nani? Oh fine… come on you guys *goes off quickly to where the lost boys live*

Wendy: Hey! Wait for us! *Follows after him*

Narrator: So the three fly off in pursuit of the fairy, but little did they know that the fairy had something evil planned up his sleeve.

Tinker Bell: *lands* Oi! Lost fags, ten hut!

*Behind the scenes*

CherubKatan: Ok! That's it! We're going on an intermission!

Brad: … I haven't even made my appearance yet!

CherubKatan: Too bad, Brad, you'll just have to wait until part two!

Brad: *grumbles*

Farfie: Making people wait hurts god!

*Intermission*

Author's notes: … Nobody say a word… just don't… I know this is stupid… I know this is corny…  but damn it the idea isn't leaving me… but I am getting tired so I'm breaking it off here.

Schu: … *still wearing the fairy costume* Awwww, but I was actually enjoying myself…

Too bad, I'll see everyone in part two of The Adventures of Peter Pan (Weiss Style). Please no flames, just review it. See ya!


	2. Part Two

            I wish I could say that I own Weiß then I could say that I was Takehito, Koyasu and that I was a sexy Japanese voice actor and j-pop star… but unfortunately I'm not….

Schu: Thank Kami-sama for small miracles!

… *Smacks him upside the head with a mallet* …

Schu: *ducks* Haha! You didn't hit me this time! *Mallet comes back around and hits him* x_x

… Anyway as I was saying before, I don't own Weiß, nor do I own the story that I'm going to be royally fucking up. I don't know who it belongs too… but I do know Disney did it's own version of it… anyway enjoy!

The Adventures of Peter Pan (Weiß Style)

Part two

Cast of Characters

Peter Pan- Fujimiya Ran

Wendy Darling- Hidaka Ken

John Darling- Kudoh Yohji

Michael Darling- Tsukiyono, Omi

Tinker Bell- Schuldich

Captain Hook- Bradley Crawford

Smee- Farfarello

Tiger Lily- Sakura

Narrator- Nagi

Crocodile- Mechanical Device created by Nagi

Lost boys- Schrient

Extras- Random Character from Weiß

Director- me! Cherubkatan!

Ran: … we're back again…

Schu: Yay! I get to be Tinker Bell again!

Ken: … Oh joy, the fairy's going hit me over the head with the stupid wand.

Schu: *smirks* or use the pixie dust on you.

Brad: I just want to get my part over with…

Cherubkatan: Even the part about being ate by a crocodile?

Yohji: *purrs* that sounds kind of kinky.

Omi: You would think that Yohji-kun.

Farfie: BESTIALITY HURTS GOD!

Everyone: *sweat drops*

~~

Narrator: Enough of the bestiality talk and on with me making fun of everyone, *looks around and sees everyone glaring at him*… *coughs* anyway, on with the story… yeah… As I was saying before the intermission so rudely interrupted us, the three children flew after the speeding fairy, but little did they know that, that pixie was up to no good.

Wendy: That's an understatement, since when is Schuldich up to anything good?

Tinker Bell: Quiet over there in the pink nightgown!

John: I think he told you Ken…

Wendy: *growls* Shut up Kudoh!

Tinker Bell: … *looks around* Oi! Lost fags when I call you, you're supposed to get here immediately!

Lost Boy Schön: What do you want? *Yawns slightly* I was in the middle of taking my beauty nap.

Tinker Bell: … You don't need it.

Lost Boy Schön: *smiles* I know I'm beautiful enough as it is *pulls out a mirror and starts to admire herself*

Tinker Bell: No actually, all the sleep in the world wouldn't make you as near as beautiful as Peter Pan is… 

Lost Boy Schön: … Do you want to die?

Tinker Bell: *smirks* Not really, but I do know someone who does. There's a nice Siberian… I mean Wendy bird flying this way and Peter said that we'd better kill it before it comes to claw your face… again…

Lost Boy Schön: … Siberian? *Growls and breaks the mirror*… I'll kill that claw wielding *bleep* who destroyed my beautiful face!

  
*Back Stage*

Cherubkatan: … Who invited her here?! I thought she died!

Brad: *puts away his cell phone and whistles* I don't know.

Farfie: Dead people coming back to life, makes God cry.

Cherubkatan: … Oh shut up Farfie…

*On stage*

Tinker Bell: Good, the Siberian… I mean Wendy bird is wearing a pink nightgown.

Lost Boy Schön: Pink? Who in the hell wears pink in these times?

Tinker Bell: A little transvestite known as Ken… I'm off now I've been up all night and need to sleep

Narrator: so with telling at least one of the lost boy's a lie, Tinker Bell flew off to get some much-needed rest, because he looked like shit other wise.

Lost Boy Schön: … Hey, why is it that you can cuss and we can't!?

Narrator: Because, I have the powers to make you float in the air upside down, with your dress falling around your head.

Lost Boy Schön: … oh…

Narrator: now shall we get on with the story or are you going to test the director's patience and mine anymore?

Lost Boy Schön: *shakes head*

Narrator: Good. Now as the fairy flew to it's little home in a wooden tree, Lost Boy Schön called for the others to come.

Lost Boy Schön: Hey everyone, we get to kill some people!

*Other Lost boys appear on stage*

Lost Boy Tot: *holding a bunny* Toto enjoys killing people doesn't she Mr. Bunny? *Smiles then sees the narrator* Nagi-kun!

Narrator: … Don't come near me…

Lost Boy Hel: Enough of this, what are you talking about Schön?

Lost Boy Schön: *smiles* Weiss.

Lost Boy Hel: *smirks* they'll pay for killing Masafumi…

Narrator: So the three… I mean four Lost Boys planned on how to kill the cross dresser Wendy. After a few minutes of intense debate, the four finally figured out what they were going to do.

Lost Boy Schön: All right, so when that idiot who scratched up my face flies by I'll use my whip to throw him down to the ground and then Toto can stab him with her umbrella.

Lost Boy Neu: …

Lost Boy Schön: *looks at Neu* you don't have a problem with the plan do you?

Lost Boy Neu: … 

Lost Boy Schön: … What ever …

Narrator: the four lost boys then waited for the flying pink transvestite…

*Off stage*

Schu: Hey! That's my pet name for him Nagi… pick something else!

CherubKatan: … Schu…

Schu: What?! I thought that up all by myself, he has no right to steal it.

Brad: I guess you had to think very hard on it too didn't you?

Schu: … Shut up Bradley.

CherubKatan: *snickers* 

*On Stage*

Narrator: If we can continue please… Soon their waiting was rewarded, for up above them, Wendy and the two others flew high in search of the misbegotten spawn of the Triad.

Schu: *from side of the stage*…. *growls* I swear I'll hurt him one of these days.

Narrator: *ignores him* they flew on circling the area where the four boys were hidden in the bushes.

Wendy: I think this is where that flaming fairy went…

John: Can we just hurry up and land somewhere? The food on this flight sucks.

Michael: … There was no food. 

John: *blinks* Oh yeah…

Michael: And would you quit flapping your arms, you're not a stupid bird…

Wendy: it's probably why those seagulls started to chase after him.

John: …

Lost Boy Schön: *from the bush* There's the *bleep* who ruined my face! *Snarls*

Lost Boy Hel: Hurry up will you? I did leave something on the Bunsen burner.

Lost Boy Neu: Lets finish this…

Narrator: the horrid looking Lost Boy Schön waited a few more moments until Wendy took one last pass by the area alone then struck him with her whip.

Lost Boy Schön: I heard that Nagi! *Pulls out her whip and bring Wendy crashing to the ground*

Wendy: *falls to the ground* OOOOOOF! *Blinks* Man, what hit me.

Lost Boy Schön: Pay back for ruining my face you *bleep* Get him Tot!

Lost Boy Tot: *drives her umbrella at him*

*Curtains get pulled and Brad walks out on stage*

  
Brad: Due to the graphic content of this scene, we have to edit it out, so sit back, and enjoy our little sideshow.

  
*Farfie and Schu walk out in French Can-Can dresses and begin dancing*

*A minute later, they're finished*

Brad: I thank you for your patience, now on with the show *walks off stage*

Narrator: We turn now to see Wendy, lying on a bed of flowers, dead to the world…

Wendy: I'm not dead! I'm just sleeping!

Narrator: … Don't argue with the Narrator you soccer playing ditz! If I say you're dead then you're dead!

Wendy: *grumbles*

Narrator: The two other darling children realized that their older sister was missing and soon found her there.

Michael: Oh my god! Ken-kun! What happened!

John: Seems to me like he got stuck with an umbrella…

Michael: Oh what the great pi you are… 

John: *smirks* Damn straight I am, I'm sexy also.

Michael: … Whatever… besides it wasn't hard to figure out what happened to him Yohji-kun…the stupid umbrella is STILL near him!

John: *sweat drops* Man, you're ruining my ego to the ladies

Michael: *rolls eyes*

Narrator: While the moron argued with his younger smarter brother…

Michael: *smiles* Thank you, Nagi-kun!

John: …

Narrator: You're welcome, now, as I had been saying, while the two brothers argued, the flying psycho maniac decided to come down off his rage driven homicidal impulses kick and come back to check on his newly found friends.

Peter Pan: … you have nothing to say about killing Naoe…

Narrator: *smirks* maybe, but I don't go running off having a fit, screaming "Shi-ne" at the top of my lungs every time someone even mentions Takatori, Reiji.

Peter Pan: *growls* Shi-ne!

Narrator: So there we have it folks, the shi-ne screaming, hair dying red head came back to check on his new found friends…

*Behind the scenes*

CherubKatan: … You know… I think I'm beginning to see some logic in why Nagi's enjoying being the narrator so much.

Brad: Why's that?

CherubKatan: because right now I just want to wring everyone's neck but his for pretty much ruining this.

Brad: I told you it was going to happen.

Farfie: *starts getting bored* …

*Back on stage*

Peter Pan: What happened here?

John: Some psycho with an umbrella did away with our dear sister.

Michael: It's horrible, who would do such a thing?!

Peter Pan: … I think I know who… LOST BOYS… TINKERBELL GET YOUR BEHINDS OUT HERE!

Narrator: Upon hearing the loud bellow of their much loved… yeah right… Peter Pan the boy's and the spawn of the devil came running out.

Lost Boys: You called for us Peter?

Tinker Bell: Oi, Peter, *yawns* I was taking a nap.

Peter Pan: *points over at Wendy* Explain… now.

Tinker Bell: *raises eyebrow* I don't know what that's about maybe the freak's playing dead?

Wendy: I heard that you flying German scum!

Narrator: … Wendy, close your damn eyes you're supposed to be acting as if you're dead or at least knocked out!

Wendy: Not when the *bleeps* calling me names.

Tinker Bell: *flies over and hits Wendy on the head with a small rock* There that will keep him quiet.

Wendy: x_x

John: *raises his eyebrows* Now that wasn't nice Schu.

Tinker Bell: Never said I was.

Peter Pan: … Well, I'm still waiting for an explanation.

Lost Boys: *all look at one another then point at Tinker Bell*

Lost Boy Schön: He told us to do it!

Lost Boy Hel: Yeah he said there was a Siberian bird flying about so Schön got all pissy and because of Tinker Bell, we tried to kill it!

Lost Boy Schön: … Thanks Hel, anyway, he said, a Siberian bird was flying around here. As well as, the freak ruined my face!

*Off stage*

CherubKatan: … I can't believe this is happening…

Brad: Believe it… just believe it.

Farfie: *still bored*… *gets up and wanders off*

CherubKatan: *looks around*… hey where did Farfie go?

Brad: *shrugs* who knows? You can never tell with him.

Cherubkatan: … great…

*On Stage*

Narrator: So the four lost boys continued to argue with Tinker Bell over who was the cause of such a *snickers* tragic incident that befell the poor Darling child Wendy. It kept going until about four hours passed and everyone was getting sick of it.

Tinker Bell: I did not!

Lost Boys: Did too!

Tinker Bell: Did not!

Lost Boys: did too!

John: *sitting on a rock looking bored, while smoking a cigarette* … this is going to go on forever.

Michael: … I wish I had a computer…

Tinker Bell: DID NOT DID NOT DID NOT!

Lost Boys: DID TOO DID TOO DID …

Peter Pan: *growls* ENOUGH ALREADY! Christ it's like all of you are nothing but children!

Narrator:  *gives a slight laugh* He's nailed it to the door.

Everyone but John, Michael, Wendy, and Peter: NO ONE ASKED YOU NAGI!

Narrator: … You're waking sleeping beauty over there…

Wendy: *groans* what hit me?

John and Michael: WENDY! YOU'RE ALIVE!

Wendy: … *rubs his head* yeah no thanks to any of you…

Lost Boys: …

Tinker Bell: … *bleep* I have to hit him harder next time.

Wendy: *looks at Tinker Bell and growls* Why you little! *Gets up and throws himself at Tinker Bell*

Tinker Bell: *dodges* Nuh uh… be a good little transvestite right now or Peter's going to be angry.

Peter Pan: … *rolls eyes* Are you all right Wendy?

Wendy: *blushes slightly* Hai, Peter I'm fine.

Tinker Bell: *gags* that's sickening.

Narrator: Peter was glad that the little pink-gowned maniac was fine, much to Tinker Bell's dismay.

*Backstage*

CherubKatan: … I think another intermission is in order.

Brad: … Why do you keep delaying the inevitable?

CherubKatan: … I'm a sucker for putting things off until they have to be done?

Brad: *Shakes head*

CherubKatan: … Besides maybe, Farfie will be back by then… it's almost time for yours and his part to happen anyway.

Brad: … that's unlikely…

*Intermission*

Author's Notes: Well here, I am again with part two of this… psychotic piece of work.

Schu: *In the fairy suit still* It might be psychotic but at least I look good in it!

… Right… Anyway… As you might have noticed in the beginning, I did a bit of changes to the character thingy… One it's supposed to be a crocodile not an alligator that went after Hook and two I added in who the actual Lost Boys were and If I add in any extra characters… which with the way I'm seeing it I'll probably have to, to try to get the story right.

Schu: *snickers* I doubt she can.

*Smacks him* Hush… anyway, thanks everyone who left reviews. I'm glad you enjoyed the first part, I also hope you enjoy this part. Thanks again! Ja ne!

Schu: *rubs his head* Stop the muse abuse, review the fic!


	3. Part Three

            I wish I could say that I own Weiß then I could say that I was Takehito, Koyasu and that I was a sexy Japanese voice actor and j-pop star… but unfortunately I'm not….

Schu: Thank Kami-sama for small miracles!

… *Smacks him upside the head with a mallet* …

Schu: *ducks* Haha! You didn't hit me this time! *Mallet comes back around and hits him* x_x

… Anyway as I was saying before, I don't own Weiß, nor do I own the story that I'm going to be royally fucking up. I don't know who it belongs too… but I do know Disney did it's own version of it… anyway enjoy!

The Adventures of Peter Pan (Weiß Style)

Part three

Cast of Characters

Peter Pan- Fujimiya Ran

Wendy Darling- Hidaka Ken

John Darling- Kudoh Yohji

Michael Darling- Tsukiyono, Omi

Tinker Bell- Schuldich

Captain Hook- Bradley Crawford

Smee- Farfarello

Tiger Lily- Sakura

Narrator- Nagi

Crocodile- Mechanical Device created by Nagi

Lost boys- Schrient

Extras- Random Character from Weiß

Director- me! Cherubkatan!

Schu: *flutters around in the tiny costume* Welcome back to our wondrous production of The Adventures of Peter Pan!

Ran: I think they get the idea on what we're doing Schu...

Yohji: Man... I still need to find some hot chicks in this thing.

Cherubkatan: *smirks* You could always go after Sakura.

Sakura: ... I want Aya-san

Yohji: ... Next idea... 

Ken: *snickers* It's a good idea Yotan ... go after the fifteen year old!

Yohji: ... I don't think so... I only go after women eighteen and up.

Ran: *raises eyebrow* I think that's a good idea for you to do Yohji.

Yohji: Of course it's a good idea; it keeps me out of jail.

Ran: ... I was talking about going after Sakura

Nagi: *looks at Cherubkatan* You know, I was just thinking about what Schuldich said... 

Cherubkatan: What about it?

Nagi: ... he shouldn't be calling this the wondrous Adventures of Peter Pan... it should be called the Miss Adventures of Peter Pan.

Cherubkatan: ... *groans* Don't remind me...

~

Narrator: Now where were we?

Tinker Bell: I was just about to knock Wendy out cold again.

Wendy: Yeah he was just about to… HEY!

Tinker Bell: *snickers* See he agrees with me

Peter Pan: Tinker Bell, lay off him.

Tinker Bell: *grumbles* Whatever you say Peter

Wendy: *sticks his tongue out at Tinker Bell*

Tinker Bell: … Oh yeah that's really mature Ken…

Peter Pan:  Why don't we just get on with this… Wendy, leave Tink alone, Tink leave Wendy alone.

John: *whispers to Michael* I'd like to see that actually happen for once.

Peter Pan: *glares at the two* Anyway, I think we should go out and show them around Never NeverLand. What do you think about that? *Turns his glare to all of the lost boys and Tinker Bell*

Lost Boys and Tinker Bell: *gulp* That sounds like a good idea Peter!

Lost Boy Hel: Oh… Peter… Captain Hook was looking for you earlier… he said he wanted to kill you.

Peter Pan: *smirks* Let him try

Tinker Bell: Oh Peter, don't go looking for him! He'll try to kill you and you never could beat him…

Peter Pan: *rolls eyes* That's because the moron is an oracle. Besides, I was thinking about taking them to the Indian Village.

Tinker Bell: … That's even worse… Tiger Lily's there.

Wendy: Who's Tiger Lily?

Lost Boy Tot: She's the princess… Tot doesn't like her… *looks over to the narrator* Nagi-kun! Hide me from her and hold Tot please?

Narrator: … I will not…

Tinker Bell: Hey Nagi… what did you see in her in the first place?

Narrator: A quick and easy screw?

Tinker Bell: *snickers*

Lost Boy Tot: *eyes well up with tears* NAGI-KUN! You said you loved me!

Narrator: I never said I did.

Lost Boy Tot: *runs out crying*

Lost Boy Schön:  Now see what you've done… come on girls lets go find her and cheer her up.

*The remaining Lost Boys exit the stage*

*Behind the scenes*

Cherubkatan: … at least I don't have to worry about those four anymore…

Brad: Ah well they were fun though… before Nagi made Tot cry…

Cherubkatan: … Brad they were giving me a headache.

Brad: Everything gives you a headache.

Cherubkatan: *looks around* Farfie's not back yet.

Brad: Don't worry he will be.

*Back on the set*

Narrator: Now if our two critics are done talking we could continue with the story. After the annoying blue haired umbrella, wielder the four kids and the stupid fairy decided to go off to see Peter's Indiana friends. Although, I don't know if that's a good idea or a bad one…

Peter Pan: That's not your decision Nagi… you didn't write the story. And even now, this really isn't the story…

Tinker Bell: … We could all start singing like in the Disney© version.

John: With the way you sing… no way

Tinker Bell: There's absolutely nothing wrong with my singing!

John: You sound like a clogged up French hooker.

Tinker Bell: … *looks hurt* I thought you loved me Yohji.

John: I love you enough to let you know that your singing sucks… besides I thought you were all gun ho about Peter.

Tinker Bell: I am… but I can have my cake and eat it too… right?

John: No

Tinker Bell: *shrugs* Oh well, can't blame a fairy for trying.

Wendy, Peter, John, and Michael: Yes we can.

Tinker Bell: … *huffs* Well I never

Wendy: Never what? Get laid?

Narrator: … This is going to go on forever…

*Behind the curtains*

Cherubkatan: Nagi, just say they're in the village already!

Brad: … should I change the background?

Cherubkatan: do it

Brad: *gets up and lowers the back ground to one filled with Teepees*

*On stage*

Narrator: So they're all in the village and lo and behold Tiger Lily, who's really a crazed fifteen-year-old Ran loving psycho chick…

John: Hey Peter, she's taking over your title as psycho.

Peter Pan: Hn…

Narrator: came out to see who was there to visit.

Tiger Lily: Aya-san! *runs over and glomps him*

Peter Pan: … Tiger Lily… *starts trying to pry her off and mutters to himself* I swear they do NOT pay me enough for this *bleep*

Wendy: *glares at Tiger Lily* who the hell are you!?

Tiger Lily: I'm the brave princess Tiger Lily… I lost my kidney a while back and Peter Pan helped me. *hearts bloom in her eyes* I love him.

Wendy: *growls* Keep your filthy whore paws off my Peter!

Tinker Bell: I think I have to agree with Wendy this time… although he's MY Peter.

Peter Pan: Would all of you just KNOCK IT OFF. Tiger Lily let me go now!

Tiger Lily: But… 

Peter Pan: *growls*

Tiger Lily: *sighs* Yes Peter *lets go of him*

Wendy: Yeah! Let Peter go, slut!

Tiger Lily: … slut?

Wendy: Oh wait I should call you a *beep*

Tiger Lily: *face turns red with anger then quickly composes her self* Nice nightgown you're wearing Ken-san.

Wendy: … *starts muttering to himself*

Tinker Bell: *starts laughing*

Peter Pan: *rolls his eyes* Why me?

John: Because Peter you're the lead character in this story.

Peter Pan: No one asked you Kudoh.

*Backstage*

Cherubkatan: … Well there definitely goes my production.

Brad: I still say it could be worse.

Cherubkatan: What? Will Sakura or someone start singing old show tunes?

Brad: I don't know.

Farfie: *wanders back in carrying a basket full of peeled tomatoes* Tomatoes look like blood and blood hurts God!

Cherubkatan: … Right…

*On stage*

Narrator: So while the three Peter Pan lovers fought over who he was, Peter and the two darling boys started to walk off to see more of the Indian tribe. In a few minutes however, Tinker Bell and Wendy sent Tiger Lily off crying. Now we must all take a moment to say a pray of thanksgiving.

Whole Cast: *stays silent for a minute*

Narrator: Thank you now back to the story. Before Wendy or Tinker Bell could catch up, they heard a piercing shrill of a scream.

Peter Pan: Now what in the hell is going on?

John and Michael: *look at each other and shrug*

Michael: We don't know.

Tribesman: Oh, my God Peter! Someone just kidnapped Tiger Lily.

Peter Pan: *mutters under his breath* Blast it all… damn woman isn't good for anything at all.

John: *whispers to Michael* I don't see anything bad about that happening to her… she has a penetrating voice. * Rubs his temple*

Michael: Yohji! That's mean!

John: *shrugs* I call it as it is chibi.

Michael: don't call me that Yohji-kun.

Tribesman: Please Peter you have to go catch her… it was Captain Hook who took her!

*Behind the stage*

Cherubkatan: *looks at Sakura*

Sakura: *looks at her*

Brad: Can I just tie her up now and get it over with?

Cherubkatan: Go ahead.

Sakura: … I want my Aya-san…

Brad: *gags her then ties her up nice and tight* There.

Cherubkatan: Good I was starting to get a headache because of her.

Sakura: *glares at her and makes noises*

Cherubkatan: *smiles sweetly* What was that Sakura dear? I can't understand you… seems like you have something shoved in your mouth.

Farfie: *smiles evilly and peels another tomato* God is weeping now, weeping tears of joy.

Cherubkatan: We are all Farfie. We all are.

*On stage*

Peter Pan: Fine I'll go get her, not because I want to or anything… I just have a score to settle with old one hand.

Wendy and Tinker Bell: *Arrive*

Wendy: Why bother going after her at all. They'll probably treat her just wonderfully.

Tinker Bell: Yeah I agree with the pink night gowned moron on this.

Wendy: … You know Schuldich, every time you open you're mouth just one inch I can't help but want to beat the crap out of you.

Tinker Bell: *smirks* But you can't.

Wendy: … wanna bet?

Tinker Bell: Fine a duel… after the story though.

Wendy: Agreed… Warning you now though, you're dead meat.

Narrator: So a duel was plotted for after the story… *looks around* I'll be taking bets also if anyone wishes to make one on who will win.

John: I'm in! *Throws some money at Nagi* I'll bet ten on the girly boy!

Wendy: *half smiles* Thanks Yohji.

Michael: Count me in too! *Tosses out some money* Gomen Ken… but I'm betting on Schuldich.

Ken: *glares at Michael* I'll remember this Omi next time you want to borrow something of mine.

Michael: *pouts*

Peter Pan: Hn… count me in on it too *throws out a ton of money* 

Narrator: Who are you betting on to win?

Peter Pan: Neither.

Both: NANI?

Peter Pan: *smirks slightly* I bet they'll both knock each other out on the go around.

Both: *glare at Peter*

*Back stage*

Cherubkatan: Psst, Nagi can we bet also?

Narrator: *looks back* Sure

Cherubkatan: *smirks* I'm betting on Schu

Brad: *shakes head* I'm not gambling. I already know the outcome.

Farfie: GAMBLING MAKE GOD CRY!

Cherubkatan: are you placing a bet or not Farfie?

Farfie: *shakes head* watching is just as fun as betting.

Sakura: *still gagged and makes a muffled sound*

Cherubkatan: No one's talking to you Sakura. Anyway, I think it's about time I called in another interlude.

Brad: Good idea, since Farfie and I need to change into our outfits.

Cherubkatan: *nods* Alright so… we'll just wait for the next intermission to be done with.

*Intermission*

Author's Notes: *wipes brow* whew, that took me a long time to finish. Well that wraps up another session of The Adventures of Peter Pan.

Schu: So when will I get to have hot kinky sex with Ran?

Ken: Never if I have anything to say with it.

Schu: Kenken, you're no fun.

Ran: neither of you will ever have sex with me… I'll become a priest.

Yohji: … Father Ran… *laughs his ass off* Now that's something to see… are you going to molest any of the choirboys while you're at it?

Ran: … shut up Kudoh

Anyway guys, if you've enjoyed this please tell me so I can get on with part four… Hook's rescue and Tiger Lily's demise.

Brad: you have that back wards but I'm not going to complain.

Everyone: Me neither.

Anyway read and review. ^_____^ Ja ne!


	4. Part Four

I wish I could say that I own Weiß then I could say that I was Takehito, Koyasu and that I was a sexy Japanese voice actor and j-pop star… but unfortunately I'm not….

Schu: Thank Kami-sama for small miracles!

… Smacks him upside the head with a mallet …

Schu: ducks Haha! You didn't hit me this time! Mallet comes back around and hits him xx

… Anyway as I was saying before, I don't own Weiß, nor do I own the story that I'm going to be royally fucking up. I don't know who it belongs too… but I do know Disney did it's own version of it… anyway enjoy! 

* * *

The Adventures of Peter Pan (Weiß Style)

Part Four

Cast of Characters

Peter Pan- Fujimiya Ran

Wendy Darling- Hidaka Ken

John Darling- Kudoh Yohji

Michael Darling- Tsukiyono, Omi

Tinker Bell- Schuldich

Captain Hook- Bradley Crawford

Smee- Farfarello

Tiger Lily- Sakura

Narrator- Nagi

Crocodile- Mechanical Device created by Nagi

Lost boys- Schrient

Extras- Random Character from Wei

Director- me! Cherubkatan!

* * *

Schu: -smiles broadly- Its time for yet another installment of the seriously insane, seriously perverted, production of Cherubkatan's ripped classic, of whom she still doesn't know who it belongs too, The Adventures of Peter Pan! 

Everyone: -stares at him in awe-

Ken: whoa he can actually put more then five words together?!

Yohji: That is quite an accomplishment there Schu.

Schu: -glares- I do have a brain you know.

Ken: Could of fooled me Scarecrow©

Schu: What the f did you just call me.

Ken: I called you the scarecrow! You know the one from The Wizard of Oz©

Schu: -gives him a dull, glassy eyed look-

Ken: … Duh! -Says in a singsong voice- If I only had a brain!

Schu: …

Yohji: He got you there, Schu.

Schu: Be quiet whore.

Yohji: … Don't you dare start with me either fairy boy.

Cherubkatan: Let's just get on with this production…

--

Narrator: All right, now where were we? -Looks over his notes- Ah yes they were all about to set out to save the helpless, and might I say hopeless, Tiger Lilly from the clutches of the evil Captain Hook.

Wendy: Can't we just change the story line and say that he killed her?

Narrator: Unfortunately we can't. Besides, if we could I would say Tot would be dead as well.

John: -smirks- Are you regretting now that you saved her life.

Narrator: … I've regretted it since the day I met her.

Wendy: -blinks and scratches his head- I don't get it

Peter: Why are we being sidetracked here? I want to rescue her and get this part over with. I haven't had a good fight lately and I'm looking forward to kicking Crawford's ass to the curb.

Wendy: … Hey! How come he can say -bleep- and we can't?!

Peter: -smirks- It's simple. I'm her favorite character.

John: Now that isn't fair.

Peter: Yes it is.

Wendy: …

Narrator: Anyway, quickly they went to the Jolly Roger©, where Captain hook and his merry men…

Wendy: … isn't that the wrong story?

Narrator: Siberian, who is telling this story, you or me?

Wendy: … You are…

Narrator: I'm glad you realize that, now shut up or I'm going to shut you up.

John: -whispers to Michael- Whoa, Nagi is forming a backbone.

Michael: -nods- I think it's because he hangs out with Schuldich-san.

Wendy: or it's just pms…

Narrator: -clears his throat- they quickly went to the Jolly Roger©, the home and prized ship of the notorious pirates and their Captain, whom they called Hook. Now we turn to them for a while… thank God…

-Inside the Jolly Roger-

Hook: -lounging in a chair looking really sexy like in a pirate captain's outfit and a gleaming silver hook protruding from one sleeve- How boring this is… -sighs to himself- at least I'm not in it from the beginning. -Looks around- Smee! Where are you Smee! You mangy dog get yourself in here at once or you'll be feeding the fishes at the bottom of the deep!

-Back stage-

Cherubkatan: He sure gets into acting…

Schuldich: -sitting there preening his wings- He's a Virginia baked ham.

Cherubkatan: … oh great all of you are back here now?

Schu: -smirks- only for a while. Only for a while.

Cherubkatan: that's too long…

-On stage-

Smee: -comes in wearing his same outfit he normally does- Davy Jones locker hurts God. So does the singer.

Hook: Ahh, there you are Smee, I'll let you live for now. Tell me, how is the wench doing?

Smee: -grins evilly- She's writhing in terror and pain! -Evil cackle- and she continues to cry for Peter Pan.

Hook: Good, good, carry on. Just don't hurt her too much she's bait for the redhead and I don't need you getting too enthusiastic about it.

Narrator: While they were making plans on how to defeat Peter Pan, the said psycho and his cohorts made it to the ship and were eager to do battle.

Peter: -lands on the ship and looks around- Well I don't see her let's get out of here.

Wendy: Hold it Peter. Now that's just cruel of you… Yeah she's evil, annoying, twisted, perverted, and evil…

Michael: Wendy-kun you've already said evil once.

Tinker Bell: It's worth mentioning twice, kid.

Wendy: -smirks-

Tinker Bell: Then again Wendy himself is evil since he's a cross dressing transvestite with lack of fashion sense.

Wendy: -growls-

Peter: Save it for AFTER this stupid story please. Anyway…

John: -speaks up- Yo, Pete.

Peter: Don't call me that Speedo boy and what did you want?

John: Shouldn't, you know… do that cock-a-doodle do thing that is supposed to be done to get Hook's attention?

Narrator: You mean any cock'll do?

Peter: -growls- I'm not crowing and Nagi stop that.

Narrator: -gets an innocent look on his face- Stop what Peter?

Hook: -steps out of the cabin- with the way all of you argue there's no need to crow, or gain my attention. I could probably hear you all the way in China. You're that loud.

Wendy: -mouth starts watering- mm Chinese food… I'm hungry!

Peter: Order it at the next intermission!

Wendy: if there is one…

John: you know there is tons of peeled tomatoes back there if you get too hungry.

Wendy: -makes a face- Ew no way.

Tinker Bell: -snickers- I think he's really a woman trapped in a man's body.

Wendy: How about I make you a eunuch trapped in a fairy costume?

Tinker Bell: -covers himself down there- Don't you dare touch the family jewels.

John: … -blinks- Family jewels?

Tinker Bell: Be quiet you!

Hook: Can't we just get on with this? -Indicates over to Tiger Lilly tied to a post with a big mechanical crocodile standing a few feet or more away from her- Save her if you dare Pan.

Peter: … Can't we just let the thing eat her?

Tiger Lilly: PETER, HELP!

Wendy: No Peter don't she's the spawn of Satan!

Tinker Bell: YEAH… wait… I'm the devil incarnate though!

Wendy: -smirks- we always knew you were a whore.

Peter: If those two over there would stop arguing I would be able to get this over with -jumps into the air and starts flying-

Narrator: You know I've always wondered how Peter Pan flew…

Tinker Bell: -smirks- it's the magical fairy white stuff.

John: That's gross.

Tinker Bell: I've never heard him complain once -purrs-

-Back stage-

Cherubkatan: I wonder if I should just give up now…

Ouka: Gooooo Omi-kun!

Cherubkatan: How the hell did YOU get here?!

Ouka: By bus?

Cherubkatan: -pulls out a gun and shoots her- Die incest lover!

Ouka: Omi…kun… -dies-

-Back on stage-

Michael: Did I just hear Ouka?

John: You're hearing things kid.

Michael: -looks back stage and sees a dead Ouka- … No! Ouka… Ouka… OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

John: -shakes his ear- … episode flash back…

Peter: -sighs-

Tinker Bell: -has ear plugs in his ears- Huh? What did you say Yohji?

John: -raises his voice- I said episode flash back…

Tinker Bell: What?

John: … never mind

Narrator: If Michael's finished screaming now we can get on with the performance.

Michael: -blushes- I'm finished

Narrator: Good. As I was going to say, Hook issued his challenge to Peter Pan. Save the evil wench or let her perish in the belly of the mechanical crocodile, which was made by me. –Beams with pride at his masterpiece- Peter told the one handed captain what he was planning to do.

Peter: -Standing next to hook pulling out a wallet- Look I'll give you a thousand dollars just to cut the rope of the crocodile….

Hook: Make it two thousand and you've got yourself a deal… she's getting on my nerves as well.

Tiger Lilly: -Screaming at the top of her lungs for Peter Pan's attention-

Narrator: -Clears his throat- Uhm that's not what I meant you two… but –shrugs- suit yourself.

-Back stage-

Cherubkatan: … that's it… INTERMISSION!

Ouka: x.x

* * *

Author's notes: Ok! Shorter than usual I think but Oh well easy come easy go. 

Ran: -Wearing priest's robes- I'm now a father…

Ken: Rawr, bless me father for I have sinned…

Schu: and sinned again…

-Both of them drooling-

… Ignore the freaks over there people… they're very … horny…

Yohji: … -Shakes his head-

Brad: … you know Ran does kind of look sexy in that priest get up.

Not you too… Bah, watch they're all going to go have an orgy now… so I'm going to go I hope you enjoy this installment of the psycho version of Peter Pan. Until next time Ja!

Omi: OH YEAH! Review this if you enjoy it!


End file.
